Real talk. I’ve been listening to the voice of insecurity way too often lately. The voice is so convincing. It attacks my self-image, my friendships, my confidence, and my abilities. It makes me think I’m not ______ enough in so many ways. It’s defeating, belittling, and it should never have as much control as I’ve given to it.
The enemy is so deceptive. He doesn’t lie to us about obvious things. He is convincing. He knows the weak spots of our hearts and gently nudges our insecurities until they grow and grow. Soon, that voice becomes a lot louder than anything else. And I’ve had enough.
I just finished reading this book called Through the Eyes of a Lion (it was incredible, I highly recommend it!) and in one of the last chapters, he talks about “running toward the roar.” He explains that lionesses are actually more dangerous hunters than the male lions (uh, yeah – girl power!). They will often crouch silently in the grass and sneak toward their prey. Meanwhile, the male lions will be on the other side, where they let out a huge roar. Of course the prey, startled, takes off running in the other direction…straight into the lioness’ trap.
This is exactly what the devil does. He sits, quietly waiting for something to throw us off, an unkind word, something hurtful or difficult, and we cower backwards. We listen to the doubt (maybe that dream was too big, I shouldn’t have taken that risk – maybe that job wasn’t meant to be, etc.) and feel defeated. We run away from the fear and the pain – straight into the enemy’s trap of self-pity and isolation.
In the book, Levi urges his reader to run toward the roar. Counter-intuitive, yes – but this is actually the way to freedom. The Lord actually desires to fight on our behalf, if we would just trust Him. This is what I have been forgetting lately. I have the power of a God way bigger than one thousand lions living inside of me. This isn’t just giving the enemy a knuckle sandwich. God’s truth has the power to completely silence the enemy’s voice.
We have a choice. We can either let the insecurities and hurt have power over us, or we can take back what the enemy has stolen and use it against him. This may be a petty example, but my curly hair used to be a huge challenge for me. I didn’t like it; I pulled it back all the time and was afraid to wear it down. I felt awkward and uncomfortable, and I didn’t know what to do with it. In recent years, I have finally figured it out. Part of it was figuring out how to cut it/style it, but part of it was simply accepting my curls as beautiful and choosing to believe that they are. I won’t let an insecurity rob me of joy and confidence that I could easily have. Now, my hair is one of my favorite things about me (most days ;)! It has affected me in more ways that I imagined – I generally feel more beautiful, and I care more about eating healthy and taking care of the rest of my body. And funny enough, I actually get more compliments on my hair because I feel more confident, and it shows.
I need to apply this to the rest of my life…there are other areas where I am not as good at tuning out the insecurity. But there is SO much power in choosing to listen to what we know is true, rather than doubting and running away from our destiny. When you start listening to what your Father says about you – everything changes. You live in freedom, secure because you know who you are, and when you are unsure, you can lean on the foundation of truth in your heart. When I feel that whisper of insecurity creep up, I will not run and hide. I will stand and worship the Lord in spirit and in truth, and laugh in the face of my enemy!